Birthing your book with Vanessa Barrington

#115 - Vanessa Barington (Edited)

Tue, Jan 07, 2025 11:05AM • 40:56

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Emma, do you want to live a life of freedom and adventure? Are you wanting more than the daily grind? Me too. Welcome to the Emma Lovell, show a place where we talk about living a life you love. Now I'm your host, Emma Lovell, and my number one value is freedom. I've spent the last 14 years running a business and traveling the world, and now I take my husband and toddler along for the adventure too. It's possible, and I know you can create a life doing what you truly love as well. This podcast will inspire, motivate and encourage you to go after your dreams, to create a life you love and to live it now, not wait for a time and or someday in the future, I'll be sharing episodes weekly about how I harmonize business travel and self care. I'll also bring on incredible guests to share their journeys, the wins, the challenges, and how they're creating a life they love. Let's jump in and get dreaming. This is a space for you to manifest a life you love.

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I would like to acknowledge and recognize Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the first peoples of this place, now known as Australia. I am grateful for the continuing care of the land, waterways and skies where I work, live, listen, learn and play from here on, you can bear country and from wherever you are listening, I pay my respects to the elders past and present.

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Hello and welcome to today's episode with gorgeous Vanessa Barrington. She is a publisher and CEO of healing House Publishing, and she's Australia's first ever book dealer. She's a creative coach, brand strategist and psychic medium. I had the pleasure of meeting Vanessa up on the Gold Coast, where we both love and live, and she has been so supportive and wonderful of my book journey. And we have a beautiful discussion here about what it is to be an author, what it is to bring and birth a book into the world and all that goes along with it. A little bit more about Vanessa. She's the founder of the highly successful book doula program and healing House Publishing, and she's the podcast host for the Vanessa Barrington show. Vanessa helps creatives, coaches artists and authors to gain clarity and confidence in their value and message so they can achieve financial freedom doing work they love. This was a really beautiful discussion, and I hope you get a lot from it, especially if you think that the writing journey might be for you, tune in and enjoy.

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Welcome to the podcast. Vanessa Barrington, thank you for having me, Emma. It's so good to get to hang out with you and have this chat. Thanks for inviting me. Now, I always love to start by saying, in your words, who are you? In my words, I am a I'm a very much a multi talented human being, I would say so my work predominantly is based on helping people find clarity and confidence in their soul, brand essence, what I describe as their soul, brand essence, so really understanding and deep alignment of who you are and what's going to make you matter in the world. I also am a publisher for healing House Publishing, and I'm a book dealer, so I help aspiring authors learn how to write and sell their books so that they can heal, leave a legacy and make an impact in the world. And it's no wonder that we connected, because at the time I met you, I always focus on personal brand, so the confidence and clarity and who you are, and then the books that path. So it's been really nice, and you were hosting a fabulous event, and that's when I first came along and got to experience your wonderful energy and what you create. And we've been in touch ever since. So yeah, tell me a little bit more about that event, and I guess how you got to the sort of progression to where you are now, an abridged career trajectory? Yeah, sure, so

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I actually so I think my connection with storytelling really started when I was three years old. I have always been in love with books and with words, and from around the age of 10 years old, I knew I wanted to be a journalist, so I did a Bachelor of journalism majoring in Creative Writing. I started my early career in radio and television here on the Gold Coast, and then jumped very quickly into the dark side, what I call the dark side back then, which was PR and marketing brand strategy, climbed the corporate ladder, moved to Melbourne. I had 10 years down in Melbourne

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heading up a corporate communications team for a large, multi billion dollar energy business, and I woke up at 30 feeling extremely dissatisfied with my life. I was traveling every second week. I had a two year old at the time, and sorry, four year old. And I was I was just I was there.

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At home, I was earning huge money, but I just was really unhappy, and I felt like I had disconnected so far from my love of storytelling and my love of words and just the, I guess the flow of day to day life wasn't working for me. I was working very long hours. I was on the cusp of burnout, if not in burnout, and I decided to change my life and jump into consulting, and I set up my marketing business the right remark, and that's when the book started coming. And so I guess

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that was coming up to nine years ago now. And really, funnily enough, I think the universe always shows us the signs of what it is that we're meant to be doing, but we don't always listen to it. My first client was actually a book when I first set that business up, but it took me a few years to really lean into my understanding of what I could offer people as a book doula and as a book coach, and now it fills me with gratitude like that's really my core business, as well as creative coaching, so just helping people lean into and work through those fears that come with living a life that's creative, and, you know, creating things and making money from that. So, yeah, yeah, and yeah, I think there's, it's funny how there's that calling, and it does, just, does take it like has to knock. And you see, when you when it comes together, you're like, oh, man, the signs were all there, but maybe you have to go through it a little bit. And so not everyone is familiar with the term doula. I love it, and now, having been through it myself, very much understand the birthing of a book. But what is, what is a doula, and how does that apply to a book? Yeah, sure. So a doula is for anyone who's had kids. You may have heard of the term doula. So a doula is really someone that is by your side through a birth, through the birthing process. So if you're pregnant, you can choose to have a doula there to support you through your birth,

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as the book doula. So I have a digital program where I help people through that process, and I teach a five step framework. And it's my belief that writing a book really is like birthing a child. And so the five stages that I teach are aligned to the five stages of having a child. So the first stage is conception, when you're you know, you're toying with this idea and you're trying to get the idea to land. And then the second stage is pregnancy. So when you're writing the book, The third stage is nesting. So when you hand the book over to an editor, and you've got to release all the control and just wait for the baby to be ready to come. And then that final stage, birth, and then parenthood. And the parenthood part is the stuff that people go, What do you mean parenthood after you birth a book, and it's marketing so it never ends, and it's something that authors often don't think about because they're so focused on the birth. Just like as first time mothers, we focus so much on the pregnancy and not necessarily on what happens when we bring the baby home. And so

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that's really where the book doula comes in. And I guess the term is actually very well known in the States. I was nicknamed book doula by one of my first clients, Tina Bruce, quite a number of years ago now, and I just giggled because I thought, Gosh, it's so perfect for what the process is. So I believe I'm Australia's first book dollar, but in the States, book dollars are a very common term, and it is something that's very well understood, as you know, sort of like a combination of a book coach a book editor, but someone that helps you not just through the process of how to write, but beyond,

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yeah, and so one of my colleagues has written about, I think she written three books. She talked about the fourth trimester of the book too. And I think I very much hit that last month

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or so that, you know, we have, we focus on those three trimesters of that you go through, but then that last trimester, which is those early days with them, and then it's kind of the recovery as well that that takes longer afterwards too. So those first three months are so crucial after the book comes out, and all the promotion, and then I think it was really that three month, and it's like, just sort of hit a wall of like, oh, wow, that whole journey. And what I keep talking about with the book is like, people focus so much on the writing, and they ask question all the time, and I'm sure that's question you get, how long does it take to write a book, and my answer is 18 years, like it, half a lifetime this book was coming into the world, what I thought it would be, and how I thought what I thought it would be, and what it ended up being.

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It's been there like sort of brewing, and then it's like a year of of like for.

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Commitment. So from conception, from commitment, which is really, I think, a similar timeline with that, those trimesters as well. And I think people just probably don't give enough time, but also they focus so much on, like the tappy, tappy typing. So like,

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that's, you think this is writing a book, but it's like, it's not, is it? It's the conversations, it's walking and the idea comes, it's intention, it's planning, it's having the right team. There's so many other elements. And even that handing over, like you said, like, that was a really, it was a very fraught time for me. Like, around that, you know, I think that's when you're doing for the first time. You just don't know. And I, I saw you at a very pivotal moment, and I'm really grateful Vanessa, I saw you at baby give back, and I was finding it. I was really in that,

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yeah, I mean, I was writing, and it's getting there, but it was that Tommy, like, is it done? It's really hard to know that first manuscript, if Is it done. And thankfully, I spoke to someone else and I spoke to you around the same time, and you, you said the first draft is for you, and I knew the stormy first draft, or shitty first draft that Brene Brown says. So I knew that. But then saying that it was for me, and it's such a it was so true, like when I surrendered to that and went, I'm writing this for me, because the book that you write and the book that you get, once it goes through, you go through that nesting, and when you do hand it over to the team, it's so different. And I couldn't believe as well. And I'm you and I share the Woo. I'd seen my psychic, and she said, like you're holding into it so tight and so you're so protective of your that baby when you've got it. The moment I decided I'd finished typing, I was like, Oh, that paragraph doesn't really matter. Or Oh yeah, that could probably get edited out or whatever. But when I was writing it, I was I was guarding every single word. If you told me to take out a line, I would have

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no, yeah, allowing that. Like, yeah, the first so, just, yeah, thank you so much. Oh, you're so welcome. You're so, like, it's so I could, I would just do this work forever. You know, I was saying this to my dad this morning, if I won the lotto tomorrow, I would still do this work. I love this work. And you know, I'm so glad that just that quick conversation with you could help you at that point in time. Because I think for me, you know, share, just sharing my perspective on the 18 year thing. Because I think on one level, how long does the book take to write? It takes as long as it needs to take for the transfer, like for the lessons and everything to be integrated of what it is. But I also feel like so much with the people that find me they're writing into the person that they're becoming. And when you write a book, and this is why, you know, 81% of the world say they want to write a book, and only 3% actually finish it. So you are in the 3% globally that actually did it and saw through that process, which is incredible, and it does take it takes so much from you, but doing that process without support, and doing it alone makes it so much harder. And, you know, I teach, there are three things that I believe that every single person needs to be able to successfully write a book. The number one is self belief that you can do it at every stage in the process. The second is a strategy for every stage of the process. And the third is support, you know, and that first draft has to be for you. It has to be for you, and sometimes the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth has to be for you. But at some point, you know, in order to burst something that's highly professional, that's engaging, that people want to read, that people want to write like, refer to others, having a trusted editor to be able to get that feedback and integrate that and also reject what you don't agree with. Because ultimately, it's your book is just so critical to that process. But it's, it's, you know, it takes, it does take time, and it takes as long as it needs to take, you know, it really does, yeah, and it's interesting, I think is even going into we've really, I, I declared at the back of the book that I'm writing my second book, and in some way, I think it will come quicker, but then, but in the same like what you've said, I mean, I probably have been, what will go into this book is, is still years of learning. You know, it will be things, experiences that I had 10 years ago that led me to do the thing that, although I've been doing it for three years, it's like there were things. All those lessons came and so, and then now I just know the process of not that I think it'll be a different challenge. But you know, now that I know the process, it's like, okay, well, I can prepare myself a little bit more, but I think every author gets their challenge story, and what I thought would be my challenge was the editing process, and I was so scared at that time, and so fearful about handing over my precious baby, when, actually, when.

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The person I ended up working with. And the challenge I had around that was, was the change over into getting the right person, um, it ended up being a really lovely process. And we were like, writing it to a little, like, love notes, sort of, yeah, and it should be like that. It should be like that. Like it should be, you know, your editor, you have to have such a close relationship with them and be able to trust them to have because you're not always going to agree with everything that they suggest. But equally, they need to tread carefully, I guess, in terms of being honest and authentic, but also really staying in the integrity of what you know that the author needs the story to be because, like, for example, if I'm doing a structural edit or a line edit on a book, and I have a different vision for that book to the author, that actually is irrelevant, because it's the author's book. So it's so important for an editor to have an alignment and understand and honor what the author is trying to say, and how they envisage that book. And I guess that's where, for me, I'm pretty lucky. In the last few years, having a psychic mediumship ability open up has meant that I can very quickly, I often feel into the energy of the finished product as soon as I start talking to someone. I don't necessarily see it, but I feel it, and I hear it, and I can tell what that book is going to be from those conversations, and that vision is so important. And I think that's where I was struggling with that, you know, the trust that you said, and the sort of situation I was in was that I didn't feel I was so scared to hand over, because I did think that it wasn't going to fulfill the vision. And so then what was great was, within working with this editor, I was like, Oh, she's just making it better. And like, parts that I was like, Oh, she'll probably cut that out because of some earlier coaching and feedback I'd had. I was like, I should probably cut that out, but it's bits that I loved. And I was like, every bit that I loved, like, I can't tell I can't tell you what's been cut out, because everything that I has been kept in, it's just, it's just more succinct some of the things that were deeply personal or important, and if anything, there were times where they're like, You need to go harder on this point, or you need to, we need to highlight this more, or a few times like, we need to, you need to like, this is really great, like, you did something good here. Let's own this and make it like I did this, which was so loving and kind, and then I think, for me into that when the book comes and being ready, I was actually, I was writing a book five years ago, and i It's the first time I learned about a book coach. And I think, I think it's becoming more understood and known. Coaching is becoming more accepted as a as a thing.

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When I was starting coaching, it was starting being coach, and coaching, I think, was still a bit like and now it's very accepted, which in other countries, someone said, in Netherlands, like everybody has a coach like America, it's very accepted. But I did do a little bit of a program with a book coach that met, and it was so great. Some of the things she said, I remembered very clearly. But I think writing that book back then, I didn't have the resilience to stay true to my vision that I have now like because you do have to defend and you have to say so clear on that vision, because I was almost straight on the cover. I was straight on the photo. I was almost straight on

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what to include and not to include

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the launch date. Like, because you don't know. So you're seeking guidance, and you're asking people, and these are people who are in the industry, but if they're not an aligned fear, you could this book could become something completely different. And

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I thought I was someone tried to thought I was very scared about the negative reviews, and what I ended up realizing through work of my Kinesiologist, I wasn't scared about what other people would say about the book. I was scared about what I would think of the book. And then I had I waited so long, or it took this time to get this book if I didn't love it, because you have to then I knew from that coach five years ago, you have to talk about this book for one to two years. You have to be willing to go and why? Only one to two years, I would say, like, and this is, you know,

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you don't just love your child for one or two years.

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And, you know, and then you have heard, like, you hear this, other people going, Oh yeah, when I finished it, when I finished my book, I don't like them anymore. I'm like, Oh my gosh, like that. I was like, I want to learn. Can I speak to that, though, Emma, because I think that this is and for anyone that's listening, that's an author like I think that this is a really interesting paradigm, and it's from my perspective, what I believe happens, having worked with so many authors now and supported so many books to be put out in the world, I think what.

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Is you grow so much as a writer and as an individual when you go through the process of writing a book, it because it allows you. You can't write a story, particularly if it's related to you in some way. Without separating yourself from that situation, you have to step outside of it. You gain a different understanding and level of knowledge about who you are and what happened, and you know what the transformation was for you in order to write the book. And often times, by the time then the book actually gets released, those things happen years ago. So of course, you're not going to be necessarily connected to it in the same way, because it's like you've changed. You've moved on from that. That was years ago. You're you're like, you're way above that level now, because you've done that work. And that's why, you know, sometimes I see with creatives, they go, Well, I'm just not sure if it's any good anymore, because I've wrote it a few years ago, and I just don't know if it's like, is it going to resonate, or like, I just think it's past, and it's like, well, it might be passed for you because you've grown. But that doesn't mean that the person that this book was actually that this book is written for, can't gain from it. It's just that it's not for you anymore. And that's when it's time to, like, get it out there. You know, yeah, and the Kinesiologist did say it's whenever people come to her and say they want to write a book. She's a bit like, oh, here we go. And I was like, oh, what? Because it's, like, it sounded like, Legally Blonde, because it's like, hard or something. And just like, you're going to relive everything, yeah, yeah.

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So, and that is very true. You're You're reliving it, going deep dive into it, and you're going back to that place that you have kind of gone through

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them from but you know, and then it depends as well, you know, like you said some whether the book is more personal or how you're writing, but in case, it is coming from a knowledge base or from an experience base, or what you're you know, there's a reason why you're having this book. But I can't speak more highly of having support and having people in your corner, and again, just that little conversation. But you also offered Vanessa, you know, you said to me, call me anytime. And I think that's been something lovely in the author space, is that the more as I wanted, as I got closer to it, I've just surrounded myself with people in the writing or books publishing, and all the world, and everyone is so generous, because when you've been through it, you just land on the same is like, oh, please come to me like, I will, yeah, because you don't want people to, especially the first time, like, suffer, yeah. And I think as well, like coming, you know, I said to you before 81% of people want to do

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it. Like, if I had $1 for how many times someone said to me, I want to write a book, but like, 3% statistically, will do it. So, you know, and that's why I think so that, like, that's what I love about the industry. And there's some negatives about the industry as well, for sure, but I think anyone that's gone through that process is so much admiration and respect, because it you really meet yourself. And it is like the process of creating any art, any product that has your heart and soul in it. It's like, here's my soul on a platter. Judge it, you know, and there's no more to me as someone that's so connected by words. There's nothing more deeply personal than a book, whether it's a business book, a memoir, you know, a tell, a fictional a kid's book, whatever. It doesn't matter. It's like you created that with your heart, and you're putting it out in the world and going judge it. I don't care. I hope it helps you, you know, and there's, there's so much courage in that. So you really should be so proud of yourself for what you've done. It's And can I also just say, I know I'm going a little bit off. I'm not even letting you interview me. Such an journalist, strapping. People enjoy it. We there was, there was no format. We knew that. Such a next journalist. I'm like, Okay, so can I just say, though, em like your book launch and the way that you have,

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and I've watched how you've approached your marketing, and I think, like, of course, because you're a marketing expert as well, but that takes so much courage and so much discipline and commitment, and you've done an amazing job. Like, whether or not that's translated into incredible sales or not, I don't know, but I just as an outsider looking at how you've handled your campaign, I think it's incredible. And, you know, I think what a lot of people you know you were talking about, like that fourth trimester and the exhaustion, I almost, I've never referred to it as this before, but the word, words baby blues, came to me because it's almost like, and I've seen this a lot where

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it's like, you have the launch and everything, and inevitably, what will happen is, after the launch, the sales will slow down because of that for that first three month period. And I think

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one of the things that I love about Amy, I think it's Amy McNee, you know, the what's inspired to write on Instagram? Yeah.

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She talks about, like, re promote your creations, and I think they don't need to have a shelf life. Like I say to my authors, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Like we focus so much on that launch, but like, you can continue to promote your work beyond that, but take the rest when you need it too, because you deserve it after something like that, but you've done an amazing like, honestly, you really have done an amazing job with your launch. Thank you. And, yes, yeah, the one to two years thing came from, I think sometimes people just they do that, like, here's my book, yay. And then, like, just expect it. And so I think that was the just thing, which helped me though at the time, because it was like, do I want to talk about this thing that I'm writing about? I'm actually going to release it. It's like, six chapters, and be like, here's the book. I was like, I'm going to release it as an I'm gonna release it as an ebook. And be like, this is the book that I thought I was

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gonna give you. But, yeah, you know, here you go, like, so just because now I've done it, you're like, oh, that's never gonna be a thing. Whereas I wrote, as you do, wrote six chapters of another book that I'm like, oh, that will come but now it's looking different, and I'm sort of, it's like, no, I'm still passionate about that, but it looks different. And so it's fun to kind of go, Oh, what is that? But I don't know yet. Don't have to decide, but I do love what you said about that. It's a lifetime thing, and it's that that you know that this will just keep adding value. And just how cool I was in Greece when we were, like, finalizing the book, as you do, and I made a sale one day, and I thought, That's really awesome. How cool I'm here. Just made a book sale. But how cool, in five years I'm back in Greece, the book is fully paid for itself, because it does take a little while to cover off the investment. And I'm just sitting here having a cocktail, and I sell a book, and I'm like, Oh, well, cocktails paid for, lunch is paid for and it's like, that's going to happen for 510, 20 years. And also got taught that your back catalog, your if you release new books, your back catalog kind of comes fresh. It does, yeah, your back list definitely. So you people like, oh, who you know? And I think that happens, anytime you go out there, there's like, Oh, what did she used to do? Like, we get like, well, I know you now as this book doula, but you can just rock up as a book dealer. So it's like, it's so nice to go, Oh, you were, you did that, you know, we've all got a journey and a story, and it's fun to kind of revisit that. But thank you for acknowledging that and saying that I loved having you at the launch, something we also talked about at length, which we will have to get you back in the future for because I think it's a different conversation. But another thing that you you do, or you offer as part of our small passion entrepreneurs and within the marketing ecosystem is retreats. So when did you start doing them? How do they sort of play in and work with what you're doing?

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So it's funny, because I never like I never intended to be a retreat facilitator, but I have always been someone that's a big I'm a Sagittarius rising so I love travel. I'm a I've I joke. We bought our first house a few years ago, and up until that point, I spent all my money on travel. We've been to the Caribbean, we've been to Europe, we've been to quite a lot of Asia and Europe. And

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I love to travel. And one of the number one pieces of feedback that I have received from clients and from my students in my book dollar program over the years has been we would love a riding retreat. We would love to go away with you. And so that was really where the retreat concept came from. A couple of years ago, I did my first retreat in Byron Bay, hinterland, and I had initially intended for it to be a writing retreat, but then working with my spirit team, my guide, Adrian, I got a very strong sense that it was more around transformation and more general. Because I think a lot of the work that I do as a business and a creative coach as well is it's really looking at self limiting beliefs and the stuff that holds us back, that prevents us from doing the creative work. And so what he was kind of inviting me to explore was like, this is actually universal stuff. This can help a stay at home mom. This can help a burnt out corporate which you have been it can help also help entrepreneurs. And so I did the first retreat in Byron a couple of years ago. But funny story that retreat was actually also designed because I went to India a few years ago, and I had this incredible tour through Rajasthan on my own. And at that time, I connected with an amazing tour company and driver. And I love India. I've been a few times now, and it's It feels like my home like a second home. I think I lived a different life there and in a previous incarnation. And I had this sense at the time that I wanted to share this with other women, because I know India can be a very challenging place, and a lot of people like fascinated and they want to go, but are scared to go. And after having done that trip on my own, I made a commitment to myself that I wanted to come back. And I told my my

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beautiful.

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Full tour guide, Savior, I'm going to come back, I'm going to bring a group of women with me. And he was, like, amazing, but probably didn't really believe was thinking, who's this Aussie chick? You know, think she is. And so I always had in the back of my head that I wanted to do an India retreat, and I want to travel to India regularly and combine that some way with tours. But I didn't feel like I could just be ballsy enough to just or I felt it was almost a bit irresponsible to kind of go from no, none of that, to straight into an international retreat. So that was part of the reason why the Byron one also came up. But now I really see retreats as they're not necessarily my core business, but they're like this added, beautiful offering I can give to people. I think that especially post COVID, there's something really powerful about face to face. I've always run events in some capacity, but I think now, more than ever, taking that time away, whether it's for writing or just for realignment, rest receive like you do on your retreats, it's just so powerful. And yeah, I love, I love facilitating retreats, and they're definitely, there's more to come, so I think they'll, they'll definitely be a core part of my offering.

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But, yeah, stay tuned. I'd say, I feel like I could have said exactly what you said. The journey is so similar.

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What I found fascinating is,

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yeah, that that same, like somebody said, Yeah, run two retreats in Australia and then run one in India, like Lowell. And I'm like, but it didn't feel big. It just felt and it actually, honestly, I still find running retreats overseas easier than in Australia, yeah, like, I don't know, because maybe it's because, well, there's a lot, there's a lot of support there. But also sometimes, like, the bigger you go harder, whereas, like, because we live in the region, I don't know, sometimes it's like, you can almost default, like, it's just down the road, it's fine, or I'll just do that myself, whereas over there, it's like, no, you have to it has to be planned. I have to get support. I have to get this organized. I have to give people enough lead time. That's a lot. Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes when you do the bigger thing, it it becomes easier because it requires more, and then you don't rely upon yourself. So

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10x is easier than 2x was a fantastic book. And that principle of, yeah, if you go the bigger vision. It's actually, yeah, you just have to do it differently. You have to think differently. And,

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yeah, a little bit more invested. But yeah, definitely,

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definitely. All right, I'm gonna ask you my important question that I sometimes forget to ask, but it's important because it's message of the book and what we're here to do. What does living a life you love look like now?

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For me personally, I am going to say,

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I feel like I am living the life that I love right now, to be honest, and I and I live in gratitude for that every day. And I don't say that to Can I swear on this podcast to be a winger,

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but I do genuinely feel like I am getting to live a life that I love for me, that looks like I swim in the ocean every single day. That is my non negotiable. I heard one of your guests say that they're a mermaid. I feel like I'm a mermaid too. I am down at Rainbow Bay every single morning swimming, and it just That's my meditation, that's my energy cleanse. That's what allows me to do the work that I do, and hold space for people that are healing through trauma and writing big stories.

33:35

So that for me, is a big one, travel, freedom, all of those usual things. But I think also one thing that maybe I want to share that might be a little bit different is, you know, Coach said to me a few years ago, what's going to make you matter

33:54

in this life? And it's a question that I come back to regularly, one of my highest values is service to others, and it's my number one value, actually. And I think what makes you matter is such a beautiful question to ask, because that allows you then to design what how you're going to live a life that you love. You know, if you're doing something with soul, like a soul aligned purpose, and really thinking about what sort of legacy you want to leave the world, then that's going to enable you to live the life that you love. Because I believe that we've all got a special gift. We all have our own unique energy and flavor and scent and way of showing up in the world that no one else can, and if we can share that without fear and in full love for others and for ourselves, and all the good stuff is going to come from that

34:50

so beautiful and, um, it's no wonder that you love India. And I also have my friend says as a zipper at the back of my head, and then an Indian woman, like, he's like.

35:00

Orders come out. But was their past life. There's nothing going on. But India is very much in service, and their unspoken motto is a TT debover, and that means guest is God and so. But I think for me, and I talked about on podcasts earlier this morning as well, is like

35:20

it's you get to be in service, but they are a service culture, and they are very much that is a priority, and that for you, when you are someone who's so in service and is so giving to others, to go to India and to be taken care of and to be so nurtured, and to have that service. And like, you know, it's not five star hotels, it's seven star like, they just and it, but at all levels. And if you go to someone's home, it's just, it is just so loving and nurturing. And so to nurture the nurturer, I think you've if you're that person, you've got to go to India. And I think that's where that for me, and I'm projecting it to you, that's that depth of love, because you're always in service to others, to have it, to be able to receive, and be allowed to receive, I think that's what India promotes, 100% and also to live in gratitude. Because, you know, in a place like that, you're just so confronted with all kinds of different people, different walks of life, different situations, different levels of poverty, class, all of those things. And you know,

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it's my belief that being in that frequency of gratitude that is the law of receiving. That's how you receive in the universe. That's how you can create abundance in your life. And if we can be in service, in true service, not service to get something back, but in genuine service, and that energy of service to help others, that's, you know, it makes the world a better place, but it also allows us to fulfill our soul, contracts our dharma, or our, you know what we're here to do? So yeah, I love i It's funny. You say I think I'm Indian. I don't know if I've got a zip, but I went afterwards to Chiang Mai. I went straight into the Asia Pacific writers and translators conference. And I'm sure I arrived there, and I'm sure I was doing, no one can maybe see this, but I'm doing the head wobble. I'm sure I was doing the head wobble when I arrived in Thailand because I I just, I can't help. Maybe it's the communications aspect. I mirror people, body language, yeah, it's an NLP thing. It's, yes, it's a form of connection. It's not, it's, obviously, it is mimicking, but it's, I mimic the intonation. So I end up getting the intonation to the point where I called my friend when I was in Nepal, and he thought it was the Indian woman that I was staying with. And it's just because you mirror the pattern and the flow of speech. And I just think it's very complimentary. But yeah, my it's my Indian friend who says he also likes to call me the white like white devil, and just delightful things that he's my brother. I call him by, you know, it's just that very Yeah, brotherly, sisterly relationship that you know, even though we're miles apart, it's beautiful. I could talk to you all day, all month. I will see you soon. I would love to see you soon again. I'm just gonna express my gratitude. I was like, in my podcast, was like crying, just again, just for being there like Vanessa and I, you know, met a few years ago. It's not like we see each other every week or day or anything or month. I just think there's sometimes those beautiful connections, and for you to show up at a very important time,

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to just to celebrate and have somebody who's truly there in celebration and support and sharing in the joy. I think that's been the gift of the book, is that people have been so happy and so genuinely excited and proud, and it's been a really moving towards that. And it's like there's so much more of that that you can have the people that truly want to see you win. And so thank you for being someone who was there for me. You're so welcome. Thank you so much for having me. This is such a beautiful conversation. I've got full body goosebumps. I'm my cup is full, and

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yeah, I'm I'm rarely without words, many words to say, except for thank you so much, Emma. And

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yeah, thank you. You're a beautiful soul. You've got a huge heart. And yeah, well, as you're talking, I try to be very present, but can't help it. My I've got a list of books in my mind, and one that I had planted a seed years ago. It's kind of a joke. It's just come back, so I'm not going to say it publicly. I'll tell Vanessa once we get offline, but I can sort of see that book forming. So potentially, when I'll be working on a book, don't know when, but it's it's there, and it'll make you giggles. So watch this space. And that's the woo, woo. And that's.

40:00

Do I bring it's like, oh, wait, hang on, there's another one

40:04

and another one and another one. I'm gonna do that.

40:08

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And yeah, thank you amazing. Thank you.

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Thank you for listening. Lovell one. I hope this has inspired you to dream big and start creating a life you love today, if you love what you're hearing, don't forget to follow and rate on Spotify and rate review and subscribe on iTunes. It helps other awesome people to find this podcast and get motivated and inspired as well. Want to stay connected, come and join the live a life you love. Group on Facebook or connect with me on Instagram. Emma lovell.au the same as my website, but all the details are in the show notes. Lovely. I'll see you next episode for more inspiration, motivation and freedom, seeking. Now go out there and live a life you love and.