This is who I am with Jade Warne

Episode 21 - Jade Warne (Edited)

Wed, Dec 13, 2023 2: 16PM • 33:08

Wed, Dec 13, 2023 2: SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Wed, Dec 13, 2023 2: emma, retreat, share, work, love, jade, life, business, photoshoot, trauma, lovell, panic attacks, people, india, powerful, photography, podcast, episode, connect, incredible

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00: Do you want to live a life of freedom and adventure? Are you wanting more than the daily grind? Me too. Welcome to the Emma Lovell show, a place where we talk about living a life you love now, I'm your host, Emma Lovell, and my number one value is freedom. I've spent the last 14 years running a business and traveling the world. And now I take my husband and toddler along for the adventure to it's possible and I know you can create a life doing what you truly love as well. This podcast will inspire, motivate and encourage you to go after your dreams to create a life you love until you get now don't wait for a time and or someday in the future. I'll be sharing episodes weekly about how I harmonize business travel and self care. I'll also bring on incredible guests to share their journeys, wins the challenges and how they're creating a life they love. Let's jump in and get dreaming. This is a space for you to manifest a life you love.

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01: I would like to acknowledge and recognize Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the first peoples of this place now known as Australia. I am grateful for the continuing care of the land waterways and skies where I work live, listen, learn and play. From here on you can bear country and from wherever you are listening, I pay my respects to the elders past and present.

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01: Welcome to the podcast. Today, I am going to introduce you to the incredible Jade Warren. I often share bios of my guests and read out their you know all their credentials. But today, I'm not going to because I really want you to see a different side to this incredible woman. Jade has more than 120,000 followers on Instagram. She is prolific with her photography and videography and content creation. And we see one side of her but this woman has a history and a career and business that, you know, we're only scratching the surface of. And so today, I'm so delighted to get to show you more of that and to have had Jade come on my retreat and to open up even more and to start sharing who she is more widely just brings so much joy to my heart. So we're gonna dive into all of that today. And I can't wait for you to get to know the incredible woman that I know. Jade Warren.

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02: Welcome to the podcast Jade one. Yeah, thanks for having me. Sorry, I know you love this question. And we're gonna go into that a bit more. But I want to ask in your words, who are you? Oh, this is such an interesting question. And this was the focus and the challenge that the question that stumped me in the very first hour of the retreat that you held in India last month. Yeah. So I'm Jade Juan, I'm a photographer, videographer and small business growth coach. I work with women in business, to supercharge them to help them grow their profile, to show up with confidence, and to really sell online. And that is what I am best at. But I guess beneath all that you Emma Lovell have always wanted to know who I really am, which potentially is the subject of this, this chat, which is so much more challenging than you know who you are in a business sense. So yeah, you tell me.

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03: Okay, so we know, a lot of us know that photography, videography, content creation pays, and that your business owner now but how did you get to here, I have the most exciting and secret background that I hardly ever speak about to anyone, but I really want to share it with you and your listeners. So in my educational background, I received a scholarship to go to university and it was actually in the same year as the founders of Atlassian. And I was they were one of the founders, but I was surrounded by so many founders who have gone on to establish multibillion dollar companies and yes, I may have been asked out on a date by a few of them and I said no to them all decision that I'm regretting right now and will regret for the rest of my life but nevertheless, I did have a fantastic time at university and then went on to work for you know the some of the really big consultants so KPMG UBS ABN AMRO bank, a large investment banking companies that I went on to work for which I enjoyed the exposure to that arena, but I knew from from that exposure that it wasn't for me. And from there I actually took a sidestep and went into publishing. So I worked for Marie Claire magazine, I was a Features Editor there I was able to connect with so many amazing fashion designers and really get to know them personally. From Anna and Luke at Romans was born to Camilla and mark to you know the basic crew

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05: To Bianca spender, I would write features on all of these incredible designers and get to spend a lot of time with them. And I love that. But I also knew that my calling was to have this background in tech and to fuse the two of them, which was like kind of fashion publishing and technology at the same time. And that's where I met the founder of Shoes of Prey, Jody Fox and choose a pray was a really fascinating Sydney startup, they started to call Sydney Silicon Beach, when it was receiving all this kind of funding and interest from overseas. And choose a pray was one of those startups and really fascinating time and place to be where they were inventing this new type of business. And they needed someone who was going to manage their social for them. And actually, social media management at the time was not a role. Nobody did that. I actually invented that role, managing their Facebook account, managing their Twitter account, creating their content for them, and investing in the very first Facebook Ads campaigns worldwide. So really exciting background. You know, some of the highlights I haven't mentioned, I was on the phone to Beyonce, I've spent time with SIA, I have, you know, interacted with so many different people behind the scenes. And that has really given me a lot of, I guess, what's the word experience when I went into the next phase of my career, which was in photography, I think the thing you know, I was actually surprised I really loved the content that I was creating. But I also had a baby, I had a child and nobody else had children at that point. And anyone who knows when you have a child, you need to be home for the pickup, you need to be home for the dinner, you need to be home for the bath, and nobody else in the office had that they would stay there and work, you know, well into eight or 9pm. And I always had to leave by for 430 to get there for daycare pickup. And that really created a real wedge between me and the other employees and the founders, and also just isolated me, maybe there wasn't a wedge there. But that's what I saw. You know, when you're the only one with carrying responsibilities in an office, you can feel really isolated and very separate from everyone else. And that really, that that feeling really created the impetus to become a photographer and to move into photography and start my own business. And you are a small business owner and continue to be and you've gone on to photograph the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker, Kate Hudson, Liz Gilbert credible, and then you photograph average Joe's like me. And Emma Lovell Exactly. And yeah, that's the thing, I delight in bringing all that skill and experience to small business owners. And in fact, you know, photographing people like Sarah Jessica Parker, it's very easy, it's really easy to make a multibillion dollar, you know, superstar or a model look amazing. That's their job that's actually there, they're built for that they were purpose built for that, what's harder to do is to spend time with a small business owner, and really see the beauty and brilliance in them. And bring that out on camera. And I love to I love partnering with you on those photoshoots because you also see the brilliance and beauty in them. And you know that what it takes it takes a level of confidence and coaxing and belief. And heart is all those things at once. And you need to do it very quickly. And so that's why we're the perfect pair and perfect partners on photoshoots. Because we're able to bring that out in our subjects and make them feel a million dollars. So they shine in front of the camera, which is exceptional. Not everyone can do that. So I love that we do that together. I love that we've done it together. But we're gonna segue into a different tack today. We'll dig in. Yeah, so we have you came onto my other podcast. So I had a podcast called Living love your brand, is my new podcast. But it's not up into the 20s episodes.

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08: The Emma Lovell show. And on the last podcast, I wanted to talk about who you were, and you were you have this gift Jade of deflection. And you're like, let's talk about you. Let's talk about what you're gonna do. And you would like to offer something to the audience because you're so generous in giving and nurturing that you wanted to share value, which you do. And that's fantastic. But I think there's so much value in your story, and in who you are, and I have loved seeing through Gentle, gentle, sometimes pushing off the edge

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09: that you have over the past over the past year that I've known you starting to share that and the response from your audience when you do share who you are, but how has that been for you? Because you kind of posed to you like, I don't really like I'm not a fan of this.

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09: That's the thing, I find the introduction posts, and you're really good at that kind of stepping up and showing showing yourself online. And look, my answer to that has always been you know, who really cares who you are. People only really care about how you can solve their problems, right? And so I always am stepping up on line showing how I solve people's problems because that is a real delight for me to solve other people's problems because it's a whole lot easier and more satisfying than solving your own problems. Of Yeah, really seeing who you

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10: are really seeing what's causing you issues in your life. And then even, you know, the natural instinct is to run as fast as you can from that, but actually turning towards it and really diving into what is causing you issues and how to get through that. And yeah, you've absolutely we've been working together so closely in the past year, and you've seen, you've been privy to full on panic attacks from me like 4am, proper panic attacks, I don't think anyone not even my partner has seen that stuff. So the way that you get close to people and the safety that you give me, and just like, I've never had a friend, or someone in my life, who's seen that side of me, and who still likes me, you know, because that's really scary, right. But you know, for anyone listening, you know, if you are dealing with anxiety, if you are dealing with panic attacks, if you are trying to grow your small business, if you are trying to be a parent, and yet carrying other things in, in the background, it's really hard. It's really hard. And so Emma has come on, you know, you've come with me on this journey in the last year, and you have been tapping knocking on the door saying, Jade, like, you know, where are you? And I'm, like, I'm busy. Am I? Because I think that's the big thing. The things that can't Well, yeah, exactly. But this is the answer is, when you are dealing with trauma, it takes so much energy, it takes so much energy to dampen the panic, to hold all systems down, so that you can then serve others it is, but it's also kind of a self fulfilling circle, right? Because you get used to that. And it's like, you don't want to open the Pandora's Box. Because once you open the box, what's going to come out, how's that going to affect your life, how's it gonna affect your work? So what I think I'm very specific incident that I'm very happy to share is, you know, Emma and I were on a on our way to a photoshoot in Melbourne and photoshoots. For anyone, you know, for anyone attending a photo shoot, it's a very elevated and often stressful situation. And for me on the other side, it's also elevated and stressful as well, because I want to deliver a really good service. And there's a lot of small bits and bobs that go into bringing a photo shoot together. And Emma and I are driving there on the way, and Emma's kind of asking me questions about finances, and my personal personal backstory, my personal history, and I'm like,

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12: like escalating in my head and another panic attack. And again, you were kind of witnessing that. And then I think you were just able to see Hold on a second, this lady is actually not as put together as she, she appears or you know, and that's, that's the difference between that energetical kind of energy going towards keeping things together, so you can serve others. But at the end of the day, I'm really grateful for our friendship and our relationship and the business that we do together. Because you are always in this game to help me reach the next level of where I'm supposed to be. And if I'm able to reach the next level, then I'm able to serve people better as well. So I always recognize that as well, there's a really powerful phrase that I really believe in is you can only meet in others, what you can meet in yourself. And so from me turning away from all this trauma, and the kind of the panic attacks, it's actually limits my ability to hold others in a pressure cooker situation like a photoshoot, or with my kids, when they are losing it before their performance, their Christmas performance, I need to be able to hold them in that space. And you know, it's your great skill and work as a coach that you were able to see that, that you were able to knock on the door and not be scared for that and then also ultimately kind of paved the way for me to kind of make those breakthroughs in that. So yeah, it's very deep work. And I'm sweating a lot talking about it right now. Like it's very deep physical work. Well, yeah, and I will just the credit to you. I mean, like something that one of our mutual colleagues told me Tara was the reason that she even came into your world was something, you shared a video and I'm sure there's lots of people like from years ago, like, you know, very vulnerable time when you found out you were having your third child. And that's what drew her to you. But then you I can hear and see like that. And it happens with everyone that there's these will, we're told who we should be. We're told how we're meant to be and how we're meant to be as business owners how we're meant to be as mom's house supposed to be as friends how we're supposed to be. So then you you take on all these like, oh, I should be like this. And I should be like that. So we were all these roles, and titles and masks that mask who we really are. And then when we aren't I guess it gets in that state of vulnerability like all of it comes out. But that's what that's where the connection happened. And I don't know why. Yes, maybe because I'm open and vulnerable. You chose to be open and vulnerable back. I just would love to say to the limit that you feel comfortable and with anyone to limit that they feel comfortable. But I want to I want others to see the beauty that I see and the gift that I see in you and that all the things that that we have connected on because we have been honest with each other and how

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15: Have you shared in a safe way? You know, so I just I don't want others to have to miss out on that. I think there's so much of your audience who would resonate with so much of what you've been going through. And we've seen that to be true when you you know, I've seen your emails have changed and some of your posts and I don't think because you are so professional, we've talked about this a bit lately. You're so professional Jade shows up delivers an amazing shoot. And yet, you just think, well, this woman's just on fire. And she's a firecracker. And I mean, I'm attracted to energy, but you don't see what it takes for her to do that. And what you know, you did share a story day I drove overnight with her assistant, I didn't everyone's like well done, Emma, I was laying in bed. I was like, got the cargo. Y'all crazy? booked a flight. Okay, I'll see you in the morning. But the point is, they drove through the night. And I mean, that was an extreme situation. But the lengths that you pull to show up for your clients, they will don't understand they don't see it. And don't they take it for granted.

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16: Yeah, thank you, thank you so much for that. Yeah, I mean, even the length, even a mother of any amount, even a mother in any way, even a mother of dogs, you know, it is so difficult to untangle yourself from your home life to get out there to serve your clients, if you're trying to go away, or you're trying to do anything, you know, if you've got caring responsibilities in any capacity, let alone caring for children, or, you know, the next level of caring for children with special needs, like that carrying capacity limit to your ability to, to work and to deliver stuff on the other side. And yeah, I don't talk about that at all. But it's a huge part of my life. It's like 99% of my life. So the 1% that I do share, I'm make sure that it is supremely confident and supremely, you know, across everything and professional, because you don't see the 99% That's a giant, not a giant mess. But it's it's an energetic stance, to control, to control the panic and keep the anxiety and keep it all in check. Because otherwise it'll just go bananas. So and I think the thing is, though, what I have discovered in the last year, and really what I've discovered at the retreat was so powerful in that I have been so focused on serving my clients, and so focused on delivering value for them, that I really was not serving myself. And that was a really big part of why I'm so intrigued by Emma Lovell, Emma Lovell, it's fantastic. And keeping her keeping herself, you know, looking after herself, just the bare bones basics. And I think, you know, it all, it all comes back to family history at the end of the day. But a lot of us grew up with parents or families who didn't look after themselves. I mean, this is not an unfamiliar story. I think everyone in there, looking up from their childhood, sees people in their lives, who don't take care of themselves, that could be physically that could be, you know, emotionally not taking care of them. And that could be financially not taking care of themselves. And we really absorb that behavior. And it's very, very hard to change it. And that is why I liked so much in our friendship because just by standing next to you, Mr. I learned a lot I learned a different way of being that is kinda and as you always say, like, you know, kindness starts with being kind to yourself. But it's so you know, we're talking about going back and changing 40 years of loan behavior to try and change a moment. And that's very difficult. So, you know, coming out from that photoshoot in Melbourne. Subsequently, I've done a lot of therapy, and really delighted to work with my therapist on really deep, powerful trauma healing stuff. So that's EMDR work that we've really pursued really actively together. And then you know, leading in then to the retreat, what was really profound and lovely about that was Yeah, I was able to bring my business self and yeah, I was able to contribute my photography. And yeah, I was able to capture everyone else and also participate in their growth and listen to their stories be a witness, that is such a powerful role just to hear other people share, but then also to share myself, that is part of the next level of healing. And you have a really good question. Mr. You asked, you know, what is rest for you? And you point to Matt, who goes and has like a half day nap or something?

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19: Rest for him is nothing nothing. Like is a it is a form of rest. I think that's the great thing about that question. There's no wrong answer. Right? You know, rest is different things at different times to different people. But when I think of true rest for me, and I've never really asked that question till you asked it, rest for me is healing. That's why being in India with you was so delightful for me because the healing power of being away from all your story and your scaffolding. It enables like there's you saw that childlike delight in me that childlike energy of when it's before all the trauma and all that the work and all the professionalism underneath that there is still that child who is delighted and curious about the world and who is excited and energized by anything new and different and that's why it was so healing because it was a gift to

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20: In a child, and she's the one who really at the end of the day pays for everything, right? Yes, she's the one who gets no rest. She's the one who gets no opportunity to express her emotions. She is held in check a lot. And a lot of the time, she's just crying out for a bit of help. And so that retreat was an opportunity for her just to live her dreams of traveling the world, which is just so exciting and something I never would have done without you. Hey, lovely, I want to open the doors to incredible opportunities for you on an all inclusive luxury retreat exclusively for people who are ready to live a life they love. I invite you to join me for five inspiring nights in sensational SriLanka for the rest and receive retreat, hosted from second to seventh of November 2024. by yours truly, Emma Lovell. I've asked you to disconnect your senses and immerse in this exotic culture while you reconnect with yourself. You get to share this luxurious experience with 12 incredible people, while forming connections that last a lifetime. I really cannot undersell or overestimate this incredible retreat and the magic of going to a place to give yourself space and time. I want to share it with you. And if you are interested, then please head to my website, Emma lovell.au/srilanka Retreat. I'd love to see you there. And I'm happy to chat. If you have any questions whatsoever, please take this opportunity to come along and join me in stunning Sri Lanka.

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21: Well, you know, and we said before about like, you know how difficult or challenging it can be to leave your life or to leave your business and

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21: you know, the fact that you said yes to it. And you told me that. So I had made the invitation today to come and I said, I love working with you. And I love partnering with you and I love would love you to be there and be be a part of it. You know what you're amazing photography, videography, content skills. But I I knew she was the right fit. I would never take a supplier who I didn't think was going to fit in to the program. That's something I'm really important with the intention. But I know that that's a big deal. It's flying overseas, I think was it potentially where the longest times you've been away solo from the kids? You know, it's a big ask of someone. It's something I'm building into my life, but I don't you know, I don't ask everyone to have to do the same that I do or want to do the same that I do. So for you to do that. But you said it was listening to one of our fellow lovelies is actually going to come to Sri Lanka with us.

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22: Nicky lseo, listening to us on her podcast where I started, she asked me which was amazing about a TT Devo Bhava, which means guest is God. It's the unspoken model of India. And he said that episode was the turning point. Yeah, absolutely. Because the way you speak about India, there's a couple of things you say that are very powerful. One of the things is, you know, people have this, you know, a real kind of

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23: a just a kibosh on India, they won't even consider it, and you have this great line, it's not my job to convince you about India. And I love how you won't even you don't even engage in trying to persuade people and I think you know, that's it's a little bit like, be the rose, which is something you're always telling me to, you know, I am I work so hard to go out and attract and deliver and, you know, serve. And you're also showing me another way to sell and to be professional online is to be the rose, which is just to be be yourself and be your you know, be comfortable in your own skin. And you know, these are really interesting, powerful, deep learning different different ways of doing business that you basically can't deploy them yourself unless you see them model to you, right, if someone can tell you be the rose for your entire life, and you'll never be the road until you actually pick up that energy and really start to let it filter into you. So that was one of the lines. You know, it's not my job to convince you on India. The other one was just talking about Kerala itself. As in the Kerala location is an anomaly. And this the harmony with which he spoke about it, the different religions living in harmony and his face that was really interesting to me, because I'm really interested in people getting along, what does it mean for, you know, really powerful religions to be able to, you know, connect with each other right next to each other. And to really get along? This is a world issue that the entire planet is facing. And Kerala is a beautiful living example of how these different religions can get along. What does it take from the people to do that? And so I was really fascinated by those things. And the way you spoke about it, and yeah, it definitely made me fall in love with the idea of India. And you know, another thing that you've said, and we say this again, many times is, you know, when it comes to self care, self care, I won't light a candle, I won't take a bath, but I will jump on a plane and go overseas. And the thing is, sometimes it is it's easier to do the big tasks than it is to do the little ones and sometimes it's actually really

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25: hard and painful to stay exactly where you are in these four walls. And it is easier to take a great leap of faith to really change your circumstances. Because I That's classic J, that's classic me I'm not interested in the tiny increment, some people are really interested in the quiet moment with a cup of tea, not me, I think that it's dead boring. I'm much more interested in going somewhere and doing something. And being fearless. And that is the ultimate takeaway from Emma Lovell is the fearlessness that you display, and fearlessness in the true sense of the word and that you do have fears. You're just not letting them dictate your behavior every single day, which is really powerful. Whereas me, I've been letting my fear dictate my behavior for a very, very long time. And it is incredibly challenging to act a different way.

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25: I'm just so incredibly proud of you. And I mean, yeah, unfortunately, we're gonna have a short episode today. I want to keep you here forever, until all the things but I know, this is a big one for you. I loved that you We did an exercise on the retreat, called I Am, and you came back and you shared,

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26: specifically those words that you had come out. And that's where my introduction, I asked people who they are that you shared. And we do we go through our titles or our job or, you know, sort of, I'm a mom, and I do this. And I do that. And I got everyone to like, do it without all of that. And I love that you shared that. But you know, the other thing that sort of came up out of it, is this a whole new world of opportunity for us. And we very early stages will but hopefully it'll all be very out there soon. But you've actually decided to go and do this yourself. Yeah, exactly. We'll be partnering on a retreat for my Instagram Club, which is insanely exciting for me and for them as well. And yeah, coming right back to your question about I am I'd love to read out my answer. I've got it here in front of me. Because yeah, I think you know, that it is a really?

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26: Yeah, I'll just read out my answer. Let's just read it out. So who am I? Is there more? Any more insufferable question to ask someone than who they are? Because we constantly hear about people telling us who they are all day long. But that doesn't devalue the actual power of the question when you actually do dive in and answer it authentically. And it is a really important question to answer if you do want to make sales and you do want to grow online, and you do want to be someone that is active in the small business world, because a lot of the things that I was reaching for, I was actually blocked. And what I found is that energetically, once you let go of those blocks, you're actually able to be in flow a lot more easily. And I think you know, anyone who's been through any kind of trauma will understand that all of a sudden, all the impossible things out of your reach, whether that's simple as creating content fast or create or writing things without fear, or standing out in front of an audience. That is also possible, once you are able to release that trauma and to say who you are. And I have trotted out my standard line of I'm a photographer, videographer and small business growth coach so many times, it's actually lost its power to me. But my time of avoiding introductions is passed because I spent so many years articulating my value to my clients, I forgot the other side of the equation, which is articulating my value to me. And that's something that you do really well am I because you're always you've always got the sayings and the positive phrases and the affirmations and that's articulating your value to yourself. And, you know, those things are tools that I recognize, I recognize the power and this is the same thing. The introduction post here goes, I am Jade one. I am bright, hungry, adventurous, curious and funny. I am safe to grow and stand tall. I am able to carry my friends and family when times are tough, but also able to rest on them when I need. I am someone who sees the beauty and whip smarts in you. I am constantly dismantling the scaffolding around my identity, testing my resilience questing for deeper roots. So I can thrive and provide shelter for others during storms. I am able to see and describe and connect things better than anyone I know. I am devoted, integrated, beloved, you can only meet in others what you meet in yourself. For many years I've cringed at introduction posts or this idea of sharing who I really am online. But you know what? I've met myself. All the terror and fury, all the laughter and hopes, all the incompetence and capability. This is me. I am Jade one. I'm living a life I love

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29: and that Jade has the most beautiful gift with words and you would think that maybe she spent a lot of time that was we did an exercise and that was written in maybe like 15 minutes or something and that's 10 minutes and 10 minutes.

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29: And I love that that was what came out and

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30: And one of our lovely ladies, Christine was the first one to put her hand up. And usually she doesn't like saying stuff everyone shared in front of everyone and I put down lay down the gauntlet to share that at some point. And I think Jade, you shared it a few days later. And I'm just so happy that the world is gonna see everything that I say and more in uniform. Yeah, I think that's the power of you as a coach. That's the power of the retreat as well, taking you out of your environment so that you can reach that next level and kudos to you know, the transformation happens in the transaction you had, you had a beautiful guest on recently share that and it's like anyone who is ready to sign on the dotted line, this is the transformation that's ready for you and it's really exciting to be able to, once you've been through this of course, you're going to turn around and offer this to any, every and any single person that you know, and I'm delighted to be there next year. I will always be that next year as long as you'll have me because I just believe Yeah, growing together is so powerful and then welcoming others to be part of that is so powerful as well and we always have space for for whoever is going to come with us on that journey. I'm going to have to get you back on so we can talk all about the retreat once it's officially launched but if you are interested in one that is going to be coming but you must be a member of Instagram growth club. We are running this for your special community. We are heading back to Sri Lanka together we are running this special retreat together that is you've heard it first the exclusive but we're going to do we'll do a whole episode on that but I just I wanted to get your reflections and yeah to to kind of get this do this again with with Jade being really just I would just all I wanted to say today was Jade. And all I wanted to share with you this audience is Jade. And I will give her to you anytime because

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31: there's just so much to get so much to give. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Alright, so where do we follow you? How do we connect with you? I'm Jade I'm small business growth club online. I'm also small business photos.com I am all over the internet. You can follow me on Jade Juan on LinkedIn. Yeah, grab it in the show notes. I think that's the best way to connect with me or Instagram Small Business Growth club on Instagram. He is great. And I'm very grateful for him. Thank you for being here. Thank you

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32: Thank you for listening lovely one. I hope this has inspired you to dream big and start creating a life you love today. If you love what you're hearing, don't forget to follow and rate on Spotify and rate review and subscribe on iTunes. It helps other awesome people to find this podcast and get motivated and inspired as well. Want to stay connected comm and join the live a life you love group on Facebook or connect with me on Instagram. Emma lovell.au The same as my website. But all the details are in the show notes lovely. I'll see you next episode for more inspiration, motivation and freedom seeking Now go out there and live a life you love