India Family Holiday - what worked

India reflections - podcast episode

Fri, Jul 12, 2024 11:44AM • 27:39

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

india, finn, trip, hotels, safaris, chapter, flew, book, day, delhi, car, loved, toddler, put, felt, travel, phone, switch, ipad, indus

SPEAKERS

Emma Lovell

Emma Lovell 00:00

Hello, and welcome to today's podcast, I am going to be sharing my reflections from our recent India trip as a family. The Good, the Bad, the, the the middle, overall a wonderful trip. But this is part of my blender life is to relentlessly honestly share what works and what doesn't. And, you know, I think it's going to constantly change and evolve because my son constantly is changing and evolving as he's only three and a half. But also, we obviously all are changing and evolving day by day. And, you know, like different seasons of life, different seasons of work. So it's all gonna be different. But I just want to share about our trip to Delhi, and then on safari, seeing tigers. And just some of the things that sort of were highlighted from experience. So we went from I can't even think of the day now June we went in June we went, it was like 10 days, all up. We flew via Singapore, it was through Singapore Airlines. And we flew to Delhi. And we flew out of Delhi as well. And it was all three of us, which was great. But yeah, I think first learning was going in the way going away while you're trying to finish writing a book. Great. Do it alone. Go alone. My next book I've said to my husband might have said it with a slight bit of aggro at the time. But I'm gonna say I'm going on my own. Gone away, I'm going to Mexico to a beach. I'm going to India by myself. And I'm writing my book. Because actually, even despite saying that I actually got a lot done while I was there. But the deadline was looming and trying to find some space for me. And I'd also said I wanted to switch off from work and it just sort of wasn't really, when you're in the midst of doing like launching something really big. It's not necessarily the best time. Yeah, so to switch off, so I do need that. And I would like that, but probably wasn't ideal. In that respect. You know, and I have a chapter in my book, which I have now released for preorder. You can get it at Emma lovell.au forward slash book, you are going to hear lots about that. But the art of pleasure is my book. And I had actually written a chapter called traveling with kids. And I very, very strongly considered rewriting that chapter in India, this time, and that would have the chapter would have read don't. Next chapter. But that's not true. Again, I Yeah, it was just definitely a challenging more few days than I had expected. So I think from the get go, though, I built a road for my own back, because I said I was going to switch off, I literally came on this podcast declared I was going to switch off. And I did I did manage to do that. But one of the lessons I learned this time was I realized, a couple of people asked me for my Indian number or some of my colleagues and friends over there. And I said, No, it's fine. I just use my phone and I've got WhatsApp and it's fine. I just use my Australian number. But it wasn't fine. And in other years, our wonderful travel partner of the Indus bound who I partner with, and I'm the Australian representative for so I help people to plan their trips to India and create amazing, amazing experiences. But I usually I used to get a phone and I'd get a number. And we give that to all of our guests and we give them a Wi Fi dongle as well. I haven't had that for a while because the phone has worked on a $5 roaming. And that makes it easier to sort of just keep things moving. And it helps with the pleasure in terms of keeping the business running. But it didn't help with me switching off and I was trying to communicate with with our driver. We have a driver there which was fantastic string communicate with my friend who were there for her party. And then I'll just go on and see other messages from everybody else. And it's really hard to just ignore that. WhatsApp is a channel where not only do I have business groups, I have my store, I keep my retreat groups where I create keep the groups after our retreat days, the support groups. I have business colleagues and friends who I chat with, they're like WhatsApp is probably one of my main channels. And so I couldn't help but see all the other things and I felt really frustrated one day and I said to my husband, you know, I just felt like I wasn't being present. I always felt like I've been pulled and he said it's fine. You haven't. I don't think you've been on your phone too much or anything like that. And I said but it's not fine for me. I wasn't able to switch off and you can just say to me ever turn off your phone. Like I said I needed to communicate with our driver and my colleague and getting around in By having another phone, I would have been communicating with like three people. And that was it. But instead, I was open to many, many more people. And yeah, it just became a bit too much. I've just realized as well, still got about five, I was doing daily summary reels. And this always happens, I get do really good for about three or four days and then have one late night or I go, I can't do it this morning. I'll do it later today, or now I've fallen behind or now I'm going to do this. So this came up. Now we're promoting the book. And so I've got about four or five summary rules, I like to talk about what happened each day. So I will get those out. Because I do like to be a bit disjointed. But I've got another trip coming up soon. And I'm really going to try and commit to doing one a day, it doesn't take me too long. But sometimes it is just trying to find the quiet in order to do that. My darling cat has just crawled up onto my lap. He's very, very cuddly at the moment. He's coming right in for a cuddle. So that's lovely. Anywho Yeah, so top tip, if you have the access to it, maybe do get another sim or get us a a burner phone while you're away. If you do want to switch off, if you're able to great, just just put it on airplane mode and don't connect. But that was just the nature of this trip. And it was a little bit took me a couple of days. I think also, no matter what no matter, you know, even with this pleasure life, it takes a few days to get out of out of that zone that you were in and into the next zone. And so I think I was it was fine for me to do some work. And I think me saying that I not that I said I wasn't going to do work. But I think that was sort of what my belief was. And I was just going to write the book and that was it. But yeah, I think not making grand bold statements like that. Because then I just felt guilty to myself, nobody else cared. Nobody cared what I was doing. But I felt bad. It was just a really silly situation to put myself in. And we, you know, stay in these beautiful hotels and. And look, my family is going through a lot of grief. At the moment when you my nephew has been terminally ill. So there's always sort of an underlying current there. Being a mother having a toddler bit traveling with my husband, you know, we don't You don't just leave or your whatever any idiosyncrasies and irritations at home, you still got to kind of deal with that. And, and as well, the datas went so fast. So here we are, we were at this beautiful hotel, we got nothing to do. And the next thing you know, it's like, you know, one of us go for breakfast, and the other one goes for breakfast and then got Jim and then one of us goes the pool. And then it just felt like we were handing over back and forth, which is kind of the reality with a toddler, you are heading back and forth. And then on my last night in Delhi, I met someone who has access to nannies. And I had talked about potentially doing that. And she said next time you come give me a buzz and even just for a few hours a day. And this is I'm looking at everyone is in Fiji at the moment. And Bali and just going you know what? Yeah. Because a lot of those hotels, there are nanny services built like in the hotel. And it's something that I did talk to my colleague about in India. And it's just I think a lot of people have their own support in the home. They do have a culture of having maids and nannies and service in the home. So they wouldn't need that service. They take them with them. But the hotels aren't really yeah, there weren't really many family friendly hotels, in saying that we stayed at the Imperial. And then the Claridges. And particularly the Imperial, their staff were just phenomenal with Finn. They were talking to him, they were drawing his attention. He wanted to go and like stand with the guard and hold his hand and he's dressed up and he's fabulous. You know, sort of almost like an armored guard, or not like an old lady of the Raj kind of guard. He's got his turban on and, and Finn just wanted to stand with him. And it was so beautiful. Every morning in the breakfast, they couldn't help him more. You know, he would order pancakes and sausages and anything that was not really available. He wanted it. And he had his little buffet of food and they were just so beautiful. So I'm very thankful for that. And they did try and help us as much as they could. But yeah, it also decided to take it to title level level. I know DEF CON five while we were there. That's just I think he's just developed again. He's all of a sudden got taller and his energy was just next level and lots of feelings. And you know, maybe he was emulating or mirroring what I was feeling pot. It was like wow, and Matthew and I were both kind of at times at a loss of what to do next. I threw my own tantrum and I literally through shoe. That's not my finest hour. But also, I don't know maybe they need to see you be angry children need to see you be angry and not in a violent way or not in a toward them way but letting out frustration. We had suggested to him shouting in the pillow and shout, stomping his feet and things like that and not shouting at us or hitting us. And I just yeah, that I shouted, and I threw shoot against the wall and I left. When I walked out down to the pool, it's like 46 degrees outside and I just sat outside and cried and took my minute and calm down. And then they came to found out find me. And when we recovered, and we we had a cuddle, and I said, Sorry, and yeah, but I guess I just needed my own timeout. Which happens again, on holiday. I think one of the biggest issues is you build up a holiday, you build up a getaway, you build up this time away, even I did even after, I was like, Oh, my gosh, read your own book, Emma. But I, I bought into the fantasy abort into the fantasy that we were gonna go away and escape all our cares and worries. And we just be in this place. And it's hard, it made it even harder that it was so beautiful. And everything was so lovely. But there's still a lot of stuff going on in my world, a lot of tension, a big, big, big project, like the biggest project I've ever done in my life. So deeply important to me, of course, I'm going to feel that. And then you know, just caring for a little person all day, every day. It's it's a lot. And at home, we have childcare we he goes to kindy, and he loves it. And so yeah, it was all on us. And it's different. And so yeah, it was, it took us couple days to realize that and I just I think like it was the third day. So what I like the first few days are really lovely, in some ways, but also, you try to wind down, you're trying to get into the vibe of the place, you're probably a bit jet lagged, if you've flown overseas, and we were we had, we all had jet lag that first night. And then on the third day, you kind of I don't know, generally is where the emotions come out. To be honest, when I do all my group trips, I'd say it for a retreat to like, that's the day you can expect people kind of getting in their head or getting over things or like you can sort of put on like, Oh, this is lovely for the first few days. And then I don't know, he just comes out and has to come out somehow. So that was the third day. And then I guess we kind of moved past that. But I'm gonna skip to the first bit, I wish I would, I should write down tips for you, but I'm gonna kind of kind of rattle them off. We flew out to Brisbane and just you know when to start the trip with a bang. And we got to security and my way I said to my husband, get out the iPad, gotta get out of the electronic devices. And he said, I can't find it. And I said, Yes, in that bag. He said, No. I said, Well, look, this bag. No. And he just had this moment when it's it's in the car. And I said, Well, you gotta go get it like we can't. We're traveling with a toddler. We can't leave his iPad behind. Otherwise, he's gonna want our phones all the time. No, that's not going to happen. So okay, go back. So I said, Give me our passport. So you take your passport, and we'll go through. So me and Finn went through security. Matt went ran back to the car. I was just about to brag about having valet and how great the valet was and, and then annoyingly, because he had the valet, they had to go in, get the car and he had to wait another 15 minutes. He did ask them to search the car and they weren't finding it. But then, you know, I faced another pickle which was I got to passport control and had my husband's passport. I had Finn's passport and I had my husband's passport. I did not have my passport. So I was stuck in limbo between security and passport control. Couldn't get out. And it's very privileged of me. But I was dying to get to the lounge because I hadn't eat in breakfast. We've been up since about 430 that morning. And I was pretty in need of a coffee and a food. I also had a toddler to entertain and thankfully he sat down and ate some crackers. But my goodness, I was it was stressful that you did get the car back and no, it wasn't in there. And he realized maybe potentially possibly he had actually put the iPad on top of the car and in the car had been driven away. And so yeah, iPad was somewhere in the car pack or someone had grabbed it or whatever. So $368 later, we had a new Samsung tablet from duty free, thankfully. And case around we went on. Very funny though. Not funny. I don't know if it's funny. This is just the travel life. And like I'm very fortunate we have money. And it was like it wasn't a big drama and it's just like okay, this is something we want Mmm, we can do it. So just buy another one. And it's okay. We'll figure it out later. But anyway, I got an email on our second fly, I managed to get into the Wi Fi. And they said that they had someone had emailed and said, Hey, I've found the iPad on the road. I happen to live in a suburb where he wrote, I live in this suburb which hadn't been assembled next to us, even though we were in Brisbane, which is an hour away from our house. And I found your emails, there was a password on the back of the iPad. Yeah, don't do that. Don't ride on the back of the cover. And, yeah, I'll get it back to you. And so he'd got into our husband's email, found the email that emailed both of us. And I'm like, That is such a security. Thankfully, he was a very kind person, a very lovely person. Our friends picked it up for us it was weren't like, thank goodness karma, we found a good person. But what what could have been total like security craziness Anywho. We also got told we were going to be premium economy on the second leg, and then we got to the flight and we weren't, so I was just like, whatever, whatever, whatever. And I know all lovely perks, but just oh, it was a little roller coaster get over there. So no wonder I was tired. And we got there, Matt and Finn slept for most of the second leg, which was great. And I actually have photos and videos of me, Finn was lying on my lap. And I had the tray table out. And I actually typed two whole chapters on that flight, which is quite remarkable, actually. So I'm pretty proud of that. And when I said talk to whole chapters, I had a lot of bits and bobs written down in the book, I had pretty much something for every chapter. I was just really refining at that point. And there were only a few things I really had to write. But there were things that I had to rework. And so I kind of got those two chapters finalized on that flight. But yeah, oh, yes, I've talked a lot about the ups and downs. So let's go over some top tips. Top tip, do not leave your iPad on top of the car, no put anything on top of the car, I've said to my husband, he's still putting things on top of the car, don't put your phone, your wallet, your drink, bottle, anything on top of the car, because you will drive off and you will lose it. It's happened to my dad. Don't do that. Don't, don't go through security separately, don't give your passport to somebody. And if you do give you password or somebody, even your partner to double check the debt name. Never bank on an upgrade. It's mainly to disappointment. And get information clearly. Also, we get told it was very frustrating. We got told a couple of times that we were able to just I'm used to them saying no but that we were able to as platinum and gold members go to the front go to the business check in. And so that would have been helpful to know before. But yes, if you're a platinum or gold, you're eligible to go to the business check in which is really could be really helpful. Give yourself a couple of days at the start of the trip to just I don't know find your feet. And don't worry if you don't, it's okay. And yeah, travel with the toddler just go with it. And except that it isn't me chips in the night a little bit. I think I was probably trying to play that happy family card a bit too much. And just It's okay. And you have your time and you have your time. And we did have lovely moments in the pool. And we did have We love going out in the car and looking out the window and in you know, just doing simple things. Another thing that was made it a little bit challenging was that it's June in India. It was one of the hottest summers they've had in years. But it was like 46 degrees every day. So the pool was alright. But we were still concerned about the heat. And him being exposed to the sun. And yeah, we just couldn't play outside as much. So the hotel was huge. And we found lots of ways to get entertained. And just going for a drive was good. But like the middle of the day is kind of a ride off. And so that does make things challenging. We did like dance, dance parties in the hotel room and things like that. But yeah, just I think it really affected my son's appetite as well. You know and on that if you have a young one, when they're traveling, I don't know about you, but when I travel, my tummy goes weird. I eat at different times your body clocks off. But my husband got really kind of frustrated with Finn's eating and I just think I wasn't worried. I was worried. I was concerned about him drinking and try again to drink as much as possible. So even if it was apple juice, just drink, drink, drink drink, because sugar and salt and liquid are the most important things when in that sort of heat. If you didn't want to eat as much I totally understood. So yeah, just be be mindful that your appetite might change. We changed hotels in Delhi. And I did regretted at first moving that day was like, why are we doing this. But I'm really glad I did. Because with my role with Indus bound, I do like to share with my clients, and to understand the different venues that are available to them. And I do have clients staying at the Imperial at the Claridges, with their retreat groups. Coming up early next year, I'm looking at staying in one of them with my clients as well. One of my clients is actually running a beauty wanting to run a beauty retreat, which we will hopefully have more details for you soon. The beauty of India is all about and she's beautician, but just really highlighting the beautiful things in India, including the spas. And I can hands down say the Imperial SPA was one of the most beautiful I've ever seen, exquisite inside and out and a beautiful service. So the Imperial hotel Delhi must do. I had a lovely treatment at the Claridges as well. But yeah, both hotels had their their different aspects and elements. Both I'd recommend and I think really important to stay there though, because you do get the full service experience. It's not the same when I just go and do a tour and have a look around. You really have to stay in the rooms. There's funny things that you're like, oh, I don't like coming in this entrance or the way that they do the meal times is a bit strange, or oh, that service was, you know, it's good to understand that fully. So that was really good. I wanted this to be a quick episode, but I guess I'm gonna whiz through I think I probably need to do a whole other episode about this next bit. But another part of our trip that was huge and amazing, incredible was we went on the Tiger Safaris. So we went to central India went to a we flew into a place called juggler poor and so he caught the plane from Delhi to juggle poor so we in Delhi, we really only just hung out at the hotels, saw some friends did a bit of shopping, went to a cooking class with Nihar from saffron palette, which is like amazing and and honestly one of the highlights of the trip was that cooking class, Finn loved it and seeing him engaged was beautiful. And then we went to amazing party at the Taj palace for the Taj Hotel, sorry for my wonderful friends for their business. Active air was there 30 years in business. And that's the real reason we went over. So that was really wonderful. And we got to wear outfits and vendors loved it. And it was it was wonderful to connect with old colleagues and friends. But yeah, then we went off to the Safaris. And so we flew into Jebel poor we all met by the wonderful Raghu who is in partnership with Indus bound as well and who I got to meet in 2019. And he is a Wildlife Safari specialist, also a photographer and takes amazing photos. So definitely need to contact and connect with him. I'm just gonna get his instagram handle right now for you. It's wildlife underscore Raghu underscore Kulkarni, which is KULK AR, and I'll put that in the show notes. And yeah, he met us and we drove to kinda National Park and kind of National Park is one of the kind of big parks where you can can spot Indian wildlife, I think it was just don't realize that you can do Safaris in India. And I did, I went to four different national parks and stayed at four different hotels, visited a bunch of others in 2019 on a hosted tour. And I'm really looking forward to hosting a tiger Safari, it probably be a family trip, or it will be a family trip without some pleasure mixed in. So a bit of blood business along the way. For people who who want to have that sort of experience, but we managed to go out on three safaris and on our first two safaris on the first day, we saw five tigers, which is remarkable. Two tigers on the first fire and three on the next and we had some really, really clear visibility, clear sightings, and it was just so special to share that with my husband and son. But we love seeing all the animals. You know, obviously the Tigers are the highlight and the goal. But we also nearly saw a leopard, which is like, Oh, it's on my bucket list. I just haven't seen one yet. Very, very elusive, very hard to spot, but um, excuse the pun. But Finn just loved it loved talking about the animals. We had a naturalist with us who is somebody who understands nature and is their specialty, and she's a Nepalese NGO, and she was beautiful and loved on Finn, and that helped us so much. And even better, we stayed at a safari camp, luxury glamping I'd call it and it was run by a beautiful family. And it's called a share gar. And so Katie and Jehan have been running that for over 20 years. Their children live there. Honestly, I will do a whole episode on it. I'm actually going to have them come on and we'll talk all about it. I'll also get Ragu on this podcast to talk more about this Tiger's eye just dream come true. And for me, I got to switch off, I got to fully switch off. Literally like hardly any internet there. I was so focused on the Tigers I loved being so present, I loved getting to soak that in, to have that time with my boys, but also to have that time and space. And I managed to write two chapters in my Safari tent, which is really special, really special to get to write my book, some of my book in India. So I finished off another two chapters, they're just yeah, really magical those few days. And I would go back in a heartbeat. We spent three nights there, but like to kind of two whole days. And then it's a lot of travel. But that's kind of a normal amount of time. So I'd say four nights is probably good just with the amount of travel. But we can totally organize that through for you through Indus bound and I will be taking 100% Want to put together a trip to take back. So watch this space. But yeah, that was our trip. So a few reflections there. A few learnings. Just I guess it's like, give yourself a break. Don't make rules and unnecessary guidelines for yourself, you will switch off your find ways. Putting yourself in a safari vehicle and in a place with limited Wi Fi is a great way to do it. And yeah, go grab a burner phone or a spare phone and have a separate SIM card. So you really can just disconnect from the day to day life of back home. Because sometimes we do need that, you know, and I think it's amazing that I was able to work on my business there. And I love inadvertently I'm always India is always going to be a business element to me because I have a partnership there. But yeah, having that time and space to just have a holiday and to enjoy India as a family and not to have it not to be hosting a group or not to be hosting clients. That was that was the bit that was good for me. And just to be able to enjoy it as as me. So yeah. I hope you've enjoyed this. I hope it's whet your appetite for India and not scared you off. Maybe. Yeah, it's just it's just creating space and making time for yourself. The reminder and listen, I keep getting so that's all for me today. love having you here and I'll talk to you again soon. Thank you and make sure to buy my book so you can get all of these tips, the trials, the challenges, the tribulations, the things that work the things that don't. My book is The Art of pleasure, and you can get it at Emma lovell.au forward slash book. See you next time.