You can’t

#99 - You cant (EDITED)

Tue, Oct 08, 2024 1:04PM • 17:17

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Emma, do you want to live a life of freedom and adventure? Are you wanting more than the daily grind? Me too. Welcome to the Emma Lovell, show a place where we talk about living a life you love. Now I'm your host, Emma Lovell, and my number one value is freedom. I've spent the last 14 years running a business and traveling the world, and now I take my husband and toddler along for the adventure too. It's possible, and I know you can create a life doing what you truly love as well. This podcast will inspire, motivate and encourage you to go after your dreams, to create a life you love and to live it now, not wait for a time and or someday in the future, I'll be sharing episodes weekly about how I harmonize business travel and self care. I'll also bring on incredible guests to share their journeys, the wins, the challenges, and how they're creating a life they love. Let's jump in and get dreaming. This is a space for you to manifest a life you love.

01:03

I would like to acknowledge and recognize Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the first peoples of this place, now known as Australia. I am grateful for the continuing care of the land, waterways and skies where I work, live, listen, learn and play from here on Yugambeh country and from wherever you are listening, I pay my respects to the elders past and present.

01:34

Hello, lovely listener, and welcome to the podcast. Today, I wanted to do something special and share with you a little excerpt of my book, The Art of pleasure. It came out on the 23rd of August, 2024

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and I do plan to do an audio book. I have been asked this question many, many times. Of course, I'm going to do an audio book. I have a podcast. I would absolutely love to do that. It's just that I need, like, a week in the studio, and we just unfortunately, really haven't had the time in which to do that. So, yeah, it will come. Just got to find five days where I can be in the one place which is kind of about vocal rest and giving yourself the time to do it. Because, yeah, if I read, if I just read the book out straight to you, it would probably take eight hours, but I think unlikely that I could talk for eight hours straight. I don't know we could put it to the test. So today, as you might have seen, the the name of the the episode. It's called, you can't the most motivating statement in the world. And this is a little excerpt from my book, from the first chapter, and I wanted to just share it with you. The problem is, if I explain it, I'll end up just telling the story. So what I'm going to do is I'm just going to read it. But this, yeah, this makes up my part of my chapter pleasure,

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which is about the art of combining business and travel, where it really introduced that topic of pleasure. So please enjoy this reading on the podcast.

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You can't the most motivating statement in the world. You can't really just watch me. Is there anything more motivating? Well, not always. That kind of discouragement can be bloody disheartening and soul crushing. When sharing the idea for this section of the book with a friend, she remarked in horror, do people actually say those things to you? Yes, this is a list of the really discouraging comments people have made to me over the years. I may have laughed them off or smiled and nodded, or I fought back and tried to justify or defend myself. Later, I went into a self doubt spiral. Can I do it? Do I need a real job? Is this really a way of life? Am I being unreasonable? Can I really make these dreams a reality?

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Oh, how I wish I could go back and be a little Emma on my younger self shoulder, I gently whisper words of encouragement in her ear as she faced these remarks, even now, I still get them. You'll see below there were even some about this book.

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I interviewed my dear friend Yemi pen for this book. I call her sis, and you can read about her on page 224,

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or you can listen to her on this podcast, on her episode unreasonable dreams. And as I interviewed her, she said, hey, the way you're talking sounds like a justification. And I said, you're right, it is a justification. This entire book is a justification to my younger self. I said, I would, I did and I can do it again

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in 2005 as I sat at a pizza restaurant with high school girlfriends a farewell party for my big gap year one friends.

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Waddled up to me and said, you talked about doing these travels in our classes together, and I honestly didn't believe you would do it. I thought it was just talk, but you're doing it. Go. You. That was lovely and kind of rude. There was never any doubt in my mind that that dream I had set for myself at nine years old to travel the world would become a reality. I laughed and smiled, but it stung me. I'm sorry to tell you this, people will doubt you, challenge you, question you, and even discourage you from the pleasure life. Choosing to live a life you love takes courage, determination and persistence, so much persistence, I could have stopped any of these statements could have thrown me off course. Some of them have been said to me many, many times. So let's get these doubts out of your head and onto the paper. Here are a bunch, but you may have some to add. Make your own list. It's better to put them on paper than have them swirling around your head and sending you into a self doubt spiral.

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The doubters favorites.

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You can't make money from travel. You're

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not really going to travel around the world for a year. How are you going to do it? When will you get a job with security?

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You can't keep doing this forever.

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Oh, so you've really got the travel bug, haven't you?

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So who's paying for this trip? Oh, wow, with all the travel you do, dad's credit card must be getting a workout. But how can you travel so much? Are you profitable? You can't make money from travel writing. It's very hard to get into travel writing.

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Only very few people succeed in travel writing.

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You don't make much money in the travel industry.

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Travel is dead. Social media is dead, copywriting is dead.

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You can't just keep traveling forever.

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Oh, well, now you've bought a house, you'll have to slow down the travel.

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Oh, well, now you're a mum that travel's going to stop.

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How do you get your work done when you work from home? But how do your clients know you're working when you're not with them?

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You're not really running a business, you're contracting

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you can't write a book about business and travel. What category would it go in?

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You'll have to slow down when Finn goes to school. What does your husband think of all this travel?

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If you're traveling alone, what's happening with your son

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now there's a lot there. How are you feeling? It's gross. Hey, that suite of messages comes from other people, but they are also thoughts that were in my head. I have to battle self doubt. This negativity doesn't help,

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so let's shake it off now, stand up, deep breath, in

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and out

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three times. Do that three times shift the energy.

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My favorite responses to the doubters

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working with em is an easy decision to make her generosity and expertise are only surpassed by her absolute 100% actually 120%

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investment in you and yourself, your success, your mindset. I cannot recommend working with em highly enough. Hi, I'm Justine McLean. I worked with Emma pre my photo shoot. She was so knowledgeable, so supportive, and really helped me nail my messaging through pictures. I would highly recommend working with Emma. She is kind supportive, and someone you need on your team.

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Now, here are all my my all time favorite responses. I wish I'd quipped back

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in the past, and probably would say today. Some are smart ass and funny, some are practical and true. I'd love you to write a response to every comment statement, challenge or doubt that comes up for you, build your list of awesome responses to take into your own epic life. Doubter, you can't make money from travel. Me, I can and I have. Doubter, you're not really going to travel around the world for a year. Me, yes, I am. Doubter, how are you going to do it? Me, I don't know yet, but I'm going to give it a red hot go and figure it out. I'll report back. Doubter, when will you get a job with security? Me, you mean a job where I'm reliant upon one employer's salary, and if they chose to take that job away, I'm left with nothing. You're right. I need a secure job like that.

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Doubter, you can't keep doing this forever. Me, why not

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doubt her? Oh, so you've really got the travel bug, haven't you? Me, I'm not sick. I enjoy traveling. Do.

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Doubter, so who's paying for this trip? Me, someone. I hope it's expensive.

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Doubter, oh, wow, with all the travel you do, dad's credit card must be getting a workout me like it's platinum, then Hey.

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But I didn't joke or reply when an older woman said this to me in real life, thankfully, both my uncle and my dad jumped in and said she pays for it herself. It makes me cry to think about it. It meant a lot for them to defend me. I didn't have to be rude or disrespectful or take it on the chin, because they believed in me and backed me

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doubter. But how can you travel so much me? Well, first I buy a ticket, then I board the plane. When I arrive, I get a cab.

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Doubter, are you profitable? Me, none of your beeswax or me, no, oh goodness, I best start working on that pain to run my business is really going add up, isn't it?

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Doubter, you can't make money from travel. Writing me, I can, and I did. Doubter, it's very hard to get into trouble writing me, maybe so, but I did it. Doubter, only, very few people succeed in travel writing me, well, I am.

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Doubter, you don't make much money in the travel industry. Me, I made $12,000 in commission in one year as a travel representative. This was just one of my side businesses.

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Doubter, oh, well, now you bought a house, no more travel. Me, I bought it as a long term investment so I will travel more with more peace of mind. Now I have an asset working for me or me, I shall live in airport lounges now I am a frequent flyer and rent the house out to fund my travels. Huzzah, dada. Oh, well, now you're a mum, the travel's going to stop me. Children under two are free. My travel is just getting started,

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but you get the point. I have an answer to every question, comment or remark. If you really want to announce annoy the doubters, just answer yes I can every time they tell you you can't.

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When you choose to live a life by design, there are always going to be challenges and naysayers,

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but what they're saying is they can't, or more accurate, accurately, they won't.

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I know people didn't realize their comments can hurt and and knock someone. Of course, they don't realize they're projecting their fears onto you, and if you've ever said something like these comments, then may this act as a reminder to be kind. Always choose kindness first, even if you have their best interest at heart, when someone is doing something new or challenging, they're already battling the doubts. So even though you're worried, scared or believe they can't or won't do it, pause and try to be kind first.

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These comments may have slowed me from arriving at the destination in my business, a place where my passions align and I know I can serve and help more people. Such comments have made me a little spiteful or resentful at times, I might have gone at my goals like a bull in a china shop just to prove others wrong. But kindness, support and encouragement are as good a motivator as challenges and doubt

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pleasure pleasure takes a certain amount

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of backing yourself. You choose yourself over security. You follow what you want and what you desire, and sometimes people won't like you doing that

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you can't please everyone. If you ever doubt whether you can change your own life to increase your pleasure. Refer to this section and the notes you've written for yourself, because you can do it.

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Dream big, my lovely and choose your cheerleaders wisely. The ones who are excited, motivated and inspired by your action, they are your champions in this pleasure life. And remember, I am here for you, cheering you on from where I may be working and traveling that week.

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Oh,

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I don't know why I always choose to read that section. Oh, I wrote that on a plane. I was on the plane all the way to India. I believe my son was sleeping on my lap. I actually wrote it in a phone note, and at the time I thought it might be its own chapter. I think we summarized a bit, but it ended up living at the back of the the first chapter I edited it. My editor did a wonderful job in terms of how to incorporate it, but,

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yeah, I get really emotional reading that. Because, honestly, that was it kind of that section became like the why for the book. Because unfortunately, I have been told you can't a lot.

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And I'm sure as I continue to do this and explore the different ways that business travel and self care can work in harmony in my life and help others to try and do the same, I'm sure I'll be told that it's that I can't. But the reality is, my lovely I am.

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Doing it, and I believe, honestly, that you can too, and that's what the book is for, is to inspire you to travel the world, to make money and live a life you love now,

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and whatever that way looks for you, however pleasure comes into your world. I'm not going to sit here and tell you how you need to do it. You're going to find your own way,

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and I'm really excited to hear how it manifests in your life.

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So I hope you enjoyed that little reading. It is, yeah, I only read a little section there, and it does, you kind of need to practice it. And, yeah, be interesting to see what the audiobook is like. So I will definitely share that process afterwards.

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Gonna go and do some vocal rest now, as my gorgeous Annalise McCarthy from her speaking coach, would say, and if you would like more of that, then please do head over and buy a copy of my book, The Art of pleasure, which is available at Emma lovell.au forward slash book. And you can also see there a bunch of other retailers, such as Amazon, QBD, Barnes and Noble, and it is listed many other places for you to purchase so and yes, there is an ebook version and an audible will come. I'd love to hear your challenge, statements, your you can't statements, and your replies to them, so please feel free to message me. I'm on Instagram at Emma lovell.au LinkedIn, Emma Lovell, or you can email me Emma. At, Emma lovell.au Have a wonderful day, and thank you for listening from wherever you are, lovely one.

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Thank you for listening, lovely one. I hope this has inspired you to dream big and start creating a life you love today. If you love what you're hearing, don't forget to follow and rate on Spotify and rate review and subscribe on iTunes. It helps other awesome people to find this podcast and get motivated and inspired as well. Want to stay connected, come and join the live a life you love. Group on Facebook or connect with me on Instagram. Emma lovell.au the same as my website, but all the details are in the show notes. Lovely. I'll see you next episode for more inspiration, motivation and freedom, seeking. Now go out there and live a life you love. You.